Air District will refuse to recognize new ozone standard

Hot off the press:

According to the San Joaquin Valley Chief of Air Quality Disinformation, Saiyit Sarkasstic, the new ozone standard will be ignored in the valley.

“We have strategically manipulated our monitoring system to try and meet the old standards. In Arvin and Central Fresno we have things under control. We can maybe do a little more with the Clovis monitor by moving it a half mile to the west.These maneuvers gave us a chance of meeting the inappropriate standards set in the previous century. But, there is nothing to be done that will get us close to these new standards except pretend they don’t exist.

We will simply tell EPA to mind their own business and we will take care of our own people. The residents of the Central Valley understand that in order to maintain their high standard of living they have to sacrifice a few years at the end of their lives. Who cares when they are no longer productive workers anyway”, said Mr Sarkasstic in a press release.

report by Paol Lushon

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